Flamingo as VC Nightmare (But they are so pretty....)
I dropped my daughter Hallel off at the Jerusalem Biblical Zoo this morning (called Biblical because they show references from Bible for all the animals...only in Jerusalem!).
Had a few minutes to walk around a bit and look around me -- in general I hate zoos (yes, in addition to being a vegan I am an animal rights advocate and don't think zoos are the way God intended them to live), but the Jerusalem zoo happens to be well designed, with a lot of room for the animals to move about, in semi-natural habitat. Hallel is in a day camp at the zoo, that starts before the zoo officially opens...so we parents also get to enjoy seeing the zoo when its usually off limits. And I saw a wonderful sight--the elephants were out walking (actually more like jogging, if you can imagine) around the zoo. I spotted them just as they passed the flamingos. Which really got me thinking about product design and animals, and what a VC would have said if sitting in on the product design meetings or presentations to the board of directors of Earth.
Just imagine the discussion. VP Product is asked to present the elephants and the flamingos. So with the elephants, fairly easy. She would explain that the elephants are slow moving but very big, with tough skins, powerful trunk to help ward off predators. They sometimes have sharp tusks, and camouflage easily, being greyish brown, blending into the background. OK, so there are a few bugs here and there in elephant design (what's with the floppy ears, no disrespect intended to Dumbo). The Board I am sure agreed that the elephant would make a useful addition to the world.
But then VP Product introduces the concept of the flamingo. Have you seen a flamingo recently? Take a look:
I had a chance to see the fully functioning version this morning. So the VP Product says to the board: its a bird, but with really long legs. Really really long legs. But it eats things buried in the ground, so we also gave a really long neck. It has wings, takes it a while to figure out the whole flying thing, and even then doesn't move too fast. And lets give a curved beak, pretty useless for defending itself. And to top it all off, we will have them stand in large numbers in shallow water or just next to the water.
Well, after the board finishing a good laugh, one board member, might have been the Angel Gabriel, said to the VP Product, well, even if we agree to authorize a budget to create such a ridiculous creature, obviously it would need to have serious camouflage to survive, as it will be practically defenseless. The VP Product answers, well, actually, we want to make it pink. PINK!!!! Pandemonium erupts in the boardroom. Shouting from the more conservative members, they need to consult with their community, Pink! Pink! All the animals until then were brown, grey, green, a dull red here and there, but Pink??
The fight raged on and on. The VP Product was in tears. Of course there was no business case for the flamingo, it couldn't be defended on any rational basis.
Suddenly the gavel came down from the Chair of the board -- and then the room went absolutely quiet. The Chairperson of the Board of Directors of the Earth, in a calm, clear voice, said: "The design for the flamingo is accepted, pink and all, because it is beautiful. And the Earth needs beauty -- not only functionality." And so it was. Thank God for that Board Chair -- because the flamingos were so beautiful this morning.


